i wish that i was blonde again that i was happy and fun again back in the day when i was feeling alright i wish that i was home again that i stuck my fingers down my throat again back when i still wore pretty skirts and they didn't feel foreign to me and i made you tons of playlists that i know you never listened to otherwise you couldn't make the excuse you were afraid i would hurt you and what about my drunken ramblings at 2am when i'd make light conversation about how i wish you'd want me again and what about all the times when i said that i was yours when i told you things i'd never said to anyone before and what about all the times i told you you were something and all you said was thank you and that thank you meant nothing oh i wish you didn't fear intimacy especially when it comes to me i wish you'd let yourself be happy even though you know it'll end i wish that you could let yourself be convinced by a lot of words from my mouth but you don't listen to what i say since we stopped going out and what about all the times when i said that i was yours when i told you things i'd never said to anyone before and what about all the times i told you you were something and all you said was thank you and that thank you meant nothing doo doo doo (hah) and what about all the things you used to say to me? when you thought i was the prettiest thing that yo had ever seen and what about all the plans i made up in my head? do they mean nothing anymore? i guess they're better off dead

i've had a headache since two in the morning and i feel like you've forgotten everything that made me special to you i hung a picture of the two of us in the back room of my mind i go and visit it sometimes and it makes me feel old just when i think that you're gone you come round to see if i'm home speak of the devil why won't you leave me alone?? oh it's the way you walk it's the way you talk it's the promises you made me back when we still thought that we could see that springtime through it's the way you stare it's the bleach in my hair because i couldn't stand to keep it brown but you still, you still come around i know you think that you're so hot in that sweater that your mom bought what a heartbreaker in a pair of dirty pumas i hear you got a special feeling for that girl you used to love i'm like okay you never loved me anyway just when i think that you're gone you come round to see if i'm home speak of the devil why won't you leave me alone?? oh it's the way you walk it's the way you talk it's the promises you made me back when we still thought that we could see that springtime through it's the way you stare it's the bleach in my hair because i couldn't stand to keep it brown but you still, you still come around oh, it's the way you speak it's the way you creep into my thoughts when i tried so hard to forget about you it's the way you lie the way you made me cry the way i tried so hard to keep the memories down but you still, you still come around

I can't believe i made you leave the first time you came to my house i'd give anything to have you back in my bed my mom, she asked about you yesterday asked what happened to you i didn't know what to say you're not mine anymore but i hope you're doing okay i'll send you off with a shit song saying i hope everything goes your way i hope you always feel like you exist i hope life is always good i hope someone else can make you happy in the way i never could thought of you for no reason at all you just came into my head you didn't even call what can i expect from you? you never gave me explanation you just do what you will i'll still be waiting for you you're not mine anymore but i hope you're doing okay i'll send you off with a shit song saying i hope everything goes your way i hope you always feel like you exist i hope life is always good i hope someone else can make you happy in the way i never could

i want your girlfriend to, like, beat me up or smthn love me as much as huffpost loves chomsky maybe i should disappear or smthn would you even notice or would it be nothing make me toast on a thursday morning and i won't eat it cause i don't like breakfast so read me some marxist literature and we'll be cool cause we're almost done with high school oh, vladimir lenin <3 chairman mao :( you stole my heart but i don't know how i need to be with you, it's affecting my work i know property is theft but i wanna be yours i wanna fight like shit, do something dramatic but feelings and emotions aren't all that pragmatic so plot some anarchy with me and we'll be cool because we're almost done with high school almost done with high school

if only you opened up to me as often as a bottle of wine did maybe i wouldn't be so totally slumped at six pm on a weeknight if only you didn't laugh so much at every joke she told maybe i'd feel more confident putting my bad habits on hold i don't wanna get better cause i'm better this way when i'm like this i don't have to remember the kind of things you used to say i don't wanna feel alright cause this is the best i'll ever be cause right i'm not thinking about the days you used to laugh at me

it's fucking raw, bro i'm thinking outside the box you just don't get it you're just a member of the flock baa baa, dude you're not edgy like me you conform, you sheep i'm the fucking king of the free it's fucking lit, brah you wouldn't understand just look pretty it's all you ladiez can handle i'm a real sick guy i go on reddit a lot i watch youtube videos to tell me how to think outside the box